


[Fanart & Snipets] A Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down

by ChibiKinesis



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21759001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiKinesis/pseuds/ChibiKinesis
Summary: A collective of my post-redemption!ending/15-year timeskip Sean x Jacob-centric arts, ramblings, headcanons, and shorts. Lots of sibling cuteness with Sarah Lee too ♥ Be warned; chapters likely won't be posted in any sort of chronological order, and moreso as they come to mind. Linear fanfic? Dunno her.
Relationships: Sean Diaz/Jacob "Jake" Hackerman
Comments: 24
Kudos: 44





	1. Timeskip Hackermans [Art & Headcanons]

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this comes from the lyrics to a song called BREAKFAST by half.alive, that's inadvertently become one of my go-to's for this AU of sorts.

  
After seeing that we were robbed of cameos from some of our faves from along our journey during the redemption ending, I took it upon myself to draw these two ♥

Some of my Hackerman sibling headcanons include but are far from limited to:




* The two of them eventually wrote their parents, and occasionally update them, and let them know they’re doing alright, but the relationship is pretty lukewarm overall. But they’re both happy with their lives, and okay with this.
  

* Sarah’s still a bubbly ray of fucking sunshine.
  

* Going to school to become a veterinarian maybe
  

* She probably has a nice singing voice.
  

* She got good at surfing
  

* She probably outgrew her big bro by an inch or two
  

* Jake might be a little salty about it, but it’s not something he’d ever admit
  

* He himself probably got into youth counseling, if not his main job, something he likely volunteers on the side
  

* He often thinks about how he and Sarah would’ve wound up had Sean and Daniel not come into their lives when they did
  

* He keeps an envelope full of money he’d saved to pay Sean back, on the slim chance that, someday, maybe he’ll be able to return it. He’s had it for at least ten years.
  

* He and Sarah making home cooked meals often.
  

* He still believes in higher powers, but struggles with the notion of organized religion.
  

* Glasses maybe? ~~me @ me: stop projecting onto him~~ _I just think he’d be really adorable with glasses_  

  

* but also, _what if they raise chickens_ lmao (but they still lowkey creep Jake out sdfasdf) or at least keep a handful in a small coop at any given time
  



	2. A Chance Meeting [Half-Ramblings, Half-Short]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This reads somewhere between me rambling on and brainstorming, and like a really lite, minimal fic and idk how to categorize it asfasd.  
> Sean's first post-redemption ending run-in with Sarah and Jacob ♥

It’s sometime in the winter when Sean finally stumbles upon the town they’re living in. He stops at a store there to buy a few more supplies, and he sees a young woman, around Daniel’s age, who seems vaguely familiar to him. She has long,wavy, brunette hair and a beauty mark under her left eye. She calls out to, he assumes, a friend of hers, a few displays across the way, where he sees a head poking up.

“I’ve gotta’ go, my brother’s leaving! See you tomorrow, okay?” She turns on her heel, arm extended to wave them goodbye, and calls out to, he assumes, her brother. “Jake, wait up!”

Sean looks and is taken aback by another familiar-looking face, with more tidy facial hair than he remembered, a few more creases, and a somewhat different hairstyle, and some glasses that feel new somehow, but he stands, stupefied, for too long to act. He’s not entirely sure he wanted to anyway. The girl and her brother head out the door, and Sean wonders if he made a mistake in not acting. He’s not entirely sure if it’s actually them, or if it’s just his mind is so desperate for a connection that it’s looking for things that aren’t really there. But he proceeds through the checkout and makes his way towards the door, a bit disoriented and distracted by it all.

So disoriented, in fact, that he crashes into another incoming patron as he exits - muttering a couple profanities before apologizing profusely. The customer apologizes as well, and bends down to help Sean pick up his things from the cold concrete.

“Wait a minute… _Sean_? Is that you?”

The voice draws him back to reality and he looks up to see the same man from before looking him square in the eye. The man has suddenly forgotten why he was coming back into the store in the first place. He looks hopeful, but he’s also second-guessing on the off-chance that he got it wrong. He hopes he hasn’t, but he backpedals a bit anyway. “S-Sean _Diaz_?”

Maybe he wasn’t imagining things after all. “Holy shit… _Jacob_?”

The man releases a pent up air in his lungs in the form of a breathy laugh and a big grin. “It _is_ you!”

It’s only a moment before Sarah gets out of the car and comes to investigate. The two barrage him with questions, and end up inviting him back to their house. “Are you in town for a few days? Do you have anywhere to stay yet? Why don’t you come have dinner? You’re more than welcome to crash with us for a bit.”

Jake is asking half out of the urge to catch up and spend some time with and old friend (and to pay him back for helping them out all those years ago), and half out of his sense that Sean’s just… _not okay_. Jake also has a vague sense that he’d probably just sleep in his car otherwise - and it was too damn cold for that.

Sean reluctantly accepts.

He gets in his car and Jake leads him to their home. They’ve made a nice little life here. Their place is small, but it’s cute and cozy and very lived-in. It’s comforting to Sean.

He and Sarah cook a nice meal for the three of them. They all share some photos - Sarah pulling out her phone to flip through, and suggesting he look at Jake’s album. It helps Sean to feel less empty for a little while, but as the evening winds down, he’s left thinking of all the time he missed out on with Daniel and his family. All of the stories and moments he didn’t get to be a part of. All of those voids that’ll never be filled. It feels selfish of him, and he doesn’t like feeling this way, but he can’t really help it either. He grows quiet and pensive.

It’s starting to get late and Sarah retires to bed. Jake offers to take the couch so that Sean can have a bed to sleep in, but Sean of course denies. Jake’s not the least bit surprised, so he smiles to himself, and goes to fetch some blankets and a pillow for him.

He comes back with those, and an old-looking envelope. He lays the blankets on the couch next to Sean and looks a bit sheepish as he fidgets with the crinkled old edges. “Another reason I was glad you came back here tonight was… I had something I wanted to give you.”

Sean looks a bit dumbfounded as Jake extends it to him.

“I know you never gave this to me with any intention of me having to pay you back, but… I _wanted_ to. There’s a bit of interest in there, too. Or maybe just call it accounting for inflation. I saved it back… damn, probably eleven years ago or so. Just on the off-chance that I… might finally see you again.” 

“You didn’t have to-”

“I-I _know_ , Sean, I… I _wanted_ to. Because you did so much for me and Sarah without even realizing it. And I want to be able to do _more_. That’s why I opened our home to you. You’re welcome here… anytime. And I _mean_ that. You can stay here as long as you need, or even just _want_.” He offers a warm, sincere smile, but it falls to something that feels more bittersweet. “And… forgive me for assuming, but you seem… _downtrodden_ -”

“- I’m a fuckin’ _mess,_ Jacob.” Sean scoffs quietly. He’s not angry with Jake for assuming - he’s more upset that it’s so obvious.

“I want to help you with that, too. If… if you’ll _let me_.”

“You don’t owe me _shit_ -”

“- I owe you _my life_ , Sean.” There’s a new intensity in his tone as he cuts off Sean’s sentence, but it’s not malicious. Jacob’s eyes grow misty and his expression shifts between three or four different emotions. He draws a shaky breath, trying to keep his composure. “Because if you and Daniel hadn’t come into the picture… if things hadn’t happened the way they did, and if we didn’t get them out of Haven Point… if _anything_ had happened to Sarah, I can honestly say that… we _probably_ wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. Because I’d _probably_ be in some makeshift grave back in Humboldt somewhere. And I still think about that _so often_.”

Sean’s surprised by his bluntness, and he’s not sure what to say. There’s an awkward silence on Jacob’s part as he struggles to find the words, but he continues on anyway.

“I feel like… maybe you’re having trouble readjusting, or re-acclimating since you got out, if you will, but I _also_ feel like… you’re not really _telling_ anyone about it, either. You don’t have to do this _alone_ , Sean. You don’t _have_ to be the _strong one_ anymore.” Jacob beams warmth and sincerity. “ _Talk_ to me. Even the stuff you’re not proud of for feeling. Our minds let us think some pretty shitty things when we’re in that kinda’ mental shape, I get it. And I promise I won’t judge you for it. But you need to talk to _someone_ about it. Even if it’s not me. And if it is me, it doesn’t have to be tonight. _But please_. Don’t keep harboring it.”

There’s a long silence as Sean considers it, and Jake grows anxious he said too much, or the wrong thing, or-

“Goodness, that got really heavy, really quick. I’m sorry, Sean-”

“ _Don’t be_. I think I… needed to hear that from someone other than myself.” He concedes. “Seemed like you needed to get that off your chest, anyway.”

“I think you might be right.” Jake laughs. “I mean it, though. I know you’re the type to try to shoulder everything on your own, but… you don’t have to. Remember that. And if you need anything we’re able to provide, don’t ever hesitate to ask.”

Sean nods, and Jake can tell it’s coming from a place of appreciation and honesty. “Thank you, Jake.”

“Anytime.” He smiles. “But if I’m being honest, I don’t see myself sleeping too well after that, so, uh… you want some coffee?”

“I would _love_ some, actually.”

They sit on the couch and chat over their hot drinks, and Sean flips through Jake’s album of photos, for about an hour before he starts to open the flood gates. They’re both surprised by it, but Jake offers his undivided attention, with only a few affirming and encouraging words as he lay everything out on the table.

His feelings of anger and bitterness over _everything_. That he spent almost as many years in prison as he’d gotten to live his normal life. His feelings of both jealousy and happiness that Daniel got to live the normal life Sean wished he could have. His loneliness, and how he hated being out here solo. Feeling like the _lone wolf_. His lamenting all those years he missed, regretting he couldn’t be there. Lamenting everything he missed out on. His feelings of being so out of touch with reality and having trouble doing anything but meandering and just sort of _existing_ in this changed world. His immense distaste for the way his perception of time is so _skewed_ now -

And as it all boils over and the tears start streaming down Sean’s face, Jake puts his mug aside and grabs the box of tissues from the coffee table. He scoots closer and rubs Sean’s back to ease his nerves, and continues to offer soft-spoken encouragement. They’re not sure how long they sit there and talk, but when Sean mutters a small _I don’t want to be alone right now_ , Jake knows this is where he’s stationed for the night. 

Sarah finds them in the morning, Sean lying at one end of the couch with his head on the pillow and one of the blankets draped over him, and her brother at the opposite end, sitting upright with Sean’s legs flung carelessly over his lap, arms folded across his chest, and his head fallen back against the plush backing of the piece of furniture. Neither one had bothered to change into pajamas, and their half-empty mugs had long since grown cold. All she can do is smile and presume it had turned into another _late-night therapy session_. 

They wake up to the smell of breakfast being cooked, and a fresh pot of coffee, each of them with headaches, for different reasons. Jake gets them some aspirin and they all share breakfast and chat some more. He and Sarah both make sure to get Sean’s contact info, and even Daniel’s. Jake reinforces all of his points from their talk the night prior - they’re fully preparing to say their goodbyes when Sean’s car won’t start ~~because plot reasons asdasdf~~

That’s right about the time he wishes hed paid more attention in Esteban’s garage. But anyway, he ends up staying with them for a few more days while he waits for a friend of theirs to come look at it for him.

"Or you can take it to the shop in town, but either way it’ll probably be a few days.” Jake explains. “But you’re welcome to -”

“Stay _here_!” Sarah interjects enthusiastically. 

Sean’s a bit surprised, but Jake smiles back at him and shrugs. “I’m certainly not opposed. It’d be nice to spend some more _normal_ time with you after such a heavy night.”

~ This is where stuff lost momentum, but I have a few more ideas like:

They probably talk a bit more about Sean’s feelings now that he’s had a chance to vent them and is more able to discuss them in a stable manner, and how he can better cope with them.

Sarah borrows Jake’s car on his day off so he and Sean end up wandering the town for a bit, probably getting lunch, and maybe checking out a winter market not terribly unlike the one in Beaver Creek. 

Sean definitely having an “Oh no, he’s ~~still~~ cute” moment in those few days. And suddenly feeling a bit more self-conscious. At least it’s winter and he can pass the beard off as practical and warm.

Jake remembering his feelings from all those years ago back in Haven Point: wait a second, _are these just misplaced feelings of affection because he’s one of the first people to show me such human decency or is this an actual crush? I don’t know._ But oh shit I think it’s coming back, whatever it was. Oh shit, _it is._

"You should come back in a few months when the weather’s decent and we can actually go do something. Camping would be fun.” Jake suggests.

After a few months of regular correspondence, Sean finds himself in a better headspace. He still struggles with a lot, but he’s doing considerably better. He has good days and bad ones, but he’s getting better at keeping in contact with everyone in general. But especially Daniel. And it feels good.

When he finally comes back in the spring for a visit, this much is apparent just by looking at him. Jake and Sarah are both so glad to see it.

“See, Jake? Told you there’s still a face under that beard!” Sarah teases.

Her giving Sean a much-needed hair cut to match his tidier facial hair before they leave.

Daniel and Chris showing up to surprise them. Group camping trip!

Sean and Sarah and Chris all sitting and drawing at some battered old picnic table.

Jake definitely taking his camera along and taking a lot of photos. ~~Including one very nice one of Sean that he got while they were hiking, when he was actually smiling, and the sun was streaming through the trees _just-so_. THIS KILLS THE MAN.~~

One of them getting hurt on the trail and the other patching them up.

All 3 kids _definitely_ catching onto _something_ there and quietly chattering amongst themselves about it. 

They go on a hike on their own and find a nice spot to chill for a bit and just shoot the shit. Sean coos about going back to Arizona, to Away for a little while.

“It sounds really nice.” Jake smiles as he tries to imagine it.

“Next time you have some time off, maybe you could… come with me, if you want. I’m sure mom would be excited to see you again, too.” Jake’s cheeks darken and Sean realizes his err, and he knows there’s been too much of a pause for an addition to seem plausible, but he tries for it anyway. “- a-and Sarah Lee, if she wants to.”

Probably accidental hand or shoulder touch or something because I’m a trope-y ass bitch.


	3. Lunch [ Art & Ramblings ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a chunk of the last chapter where I mention they meander around town one day while Sarah borrows the car, so they have lunch. But it was 2:30 in the morning when I finished sketching these and there was no way in hell I was drawing backgrounds that late. But also, in regards to my short ramblings, grey-ace Jacob is a concept I'm kinda' here for ♥

I was imagining the topic of Jacob’s love life getting brought up, maybe during their lunch, but not at all in a _hey you single?_ kinda’ way ( ~~yet lmao~~ ) but in more of a _hey I know that you were put through some serious shit and thrown out of your commune because of your sexuality, and I wanna’ know how you’re doing with all of that after all these years_ kinda’ way.

“Only a few. And… only one of those got serious, but… that ended… damn… _four years ago_ now?” Jake thinks on it for a moment before he continues. “Over time, I kinda’ figured out that I’m not really that into the… _physical_ aspects that usually come with that sort of _long-term_ thing. It’s… _usually_ a deal-breaker. Once in a while it’s nice, but… it was _never_ enough for the other party.”

And when he looks back up from his plate and across the table at Sean, he’s just got this facial expression that radiates _I **will** go back to prison if I have to_. Jake waves his hands dismissively.

“It’s alright, it’s fine. That’s just _life_. Besides, dating’s _exhausting_ anyway. If something comes my way and feels right, sure, but…” He debates what to say next, but he just kind of shrugs. “I’m just glad I’m finally able to be myself. And that I know who _myself_ really is.”


	4. Eggs and Catch-Up [Short]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An actual, proper short that elaborates on the last chapter's art and ramblings ♥

“I’m sure Daniel _wants_ to talk to you. I think maybe his issue is that… he’s not sure _how_ to? If that makes sense? Like maybe he thinks he’s walking on eggshells or something, even if he’s really not. He’s… _probably_ worried about saying the wrong thing or upsetting you, but that results in him just kind of… avoiding it altogether. But I couldn’t imagine him just _not wanting to talk to you_ , Sean.”

“Anytime I call or video chat him, it’s like he panics and finds some reason to not stay long.” Sean trails off with a tired sigh, unable to find the words he's looking for. “He doesn’t even have to _say_ anything, Jake, I just…”

“ _You_ also have to be willing to talk to _him_ , though. Not just small talk. Your problems, too.” Jake offers a small smile, and rests his cheek against his clasped hands. “And we’ve already established that you’re trying too hard to do this all on your own.”

Sean can’t even argue with him, because he knows damn well Jake’s right. He always tried to be self sufficient. Even when he knew he shouldn’t, or when it was detrimental to his own progress or needs, but reaching out makes him feel like _such a burden_.

“You’ve _got_ a support network. Even if you don’t quite realize it yet.” Jake smiles again, and readjusts his position to take another drink of his coffee. “People who are willing to and _want_ to help you, but in some cases, you’ll have to be the one to reach out to them. Everyone has their own stuff going on, sure, but that doesn’t mean you’d be a bother. People are just less inclined to notice on their own is all.”

 _I’m already couch-surfing like a bum_ , Sean scoffed. _How can I possibly trouble these people with my emotional baggage on top of that?_

“What? You don’t think so?”

Sean suddenly realizes he must have scoffed out loud, too, and he feels a bit ashamed; worried he perhaps made Jake feel he was brushing off his counsel, when that was hardly the case.

“I don’t _doubt_ you, I just…” He ponders his words for a moment. “I already feel like such a bum. Like a… total sponge. How can I expect more of people than I’m already taking?”

“You’re not a sponge or a bum, Sean.” Jake’s voice is soft as he speaks. “Nobody expects you to transition back into everyday life overnight, and I’m pretty sure none of us is gonna complain about helping you to get there. In fact, I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to help you. But don’t be so afraid to reach out for it once in a while.”

He nods solemnly in response as the words sink in as he finally took a bite of his pancakes. But he began to wonder…

“So… why did _you_ take the initiative to reach out to _me_?” Sean asks, genuinely curious. “It was one thing to catch up with me there at the store, but it was _a whole other_ to welcome me into your home like this.”

“Those professional big brother instincts or _something_.” Jake chuckles as his cheek comes to rest against his hands once more, and his expression softens a bit. “After what you did for us, I’ve been hoping to get the chance to return the favor… and I don’t just mean the money. But more than that, when we met again a couple nights ago, I… I know this probably sounds kinda cheesy, but I sometimes pick up on peoples’ energies. And you just seemed so… lost, I guess. Maybe _aimless_ is a better word?”

“Yeah. I’ve just been sort of… _meandering_ since I got out. I’m not entirely sure what to do with myself, really.” Sean sighed, watching Jake’s fork prod at his plate as he cut another section of his omelette and took a bite. He’s not quite sure what’s so damn interesting about it; there’s just this sort of understated _properness_ to the way Jake does so many little things. It brings a fleeting smile to his lips before he gets back on track. “My head’s such a mess trying to readjust to everything, it’s hard to think about much else.”

“Hmm.” He nods thoughtfully as he swallows his food. “I can _sort of_ relate. It’s hardly the same circumstances, but I do sort of know what it’s like. When I left Haven Point, it was a real learning curve at first. In a way, it seemed easier in the woods.”

Sean hadn’t even thought of it that way. Maybe Jake's more able to relate to what he was going through than he gave him credit for. Maybe he really _can_ help him. Or at the _very least_ , get him started on the right path to helping himself. Maybe _both_ , if he was lucky. He hardly got the impression that Jake would object.

“But with some time, and patience, and effort, it gets better. Emphasis on the _patience_.” He takes another small bite of his food and contemplates further as he chews it. Another sip of his coffee washes it down. “And I don’t just mean patience with the learning curve. I mean… patience with the stuff that comes with it. But _mostly_ , patience with _yourself_ when you’re not catching onto things as quickly as you’d like to. Getting flustered or angry won’t help, so learn to take a break and try again later. But it _does_ get better. I _promise_.”

Sean’s gaze skims up to meet Jake’s and he finds that damned, soft, sweet smile of his beaming back at him. Even after everything, he was so painfully optimistic sometimes. He wonders how much of it was on account of his faith and how much of it was just _how he was_. God, his _faith_. He considers for a moment what’s become of _that_ after everything.

“I appreciate all this, but if it’s all the same to you, maybe I could get out of the hot seat for a few.” he chuckles.

“Oh, that’s perfectly fine. It can be exhausting to talk about for extended periods. Sorry for pressing you. I didn’t give that much consideration -”

“No, it’s all good. Just need a little breather.” Sean waves his hand. They take the couple minutes of quiet to eat some more before their food gets cold. But he soon feels the urge to break it. “So… what about you and Sarah Lee? How’s life been treating _you guys_ since you found this place?”

“O-oh… you…” Jake seems hesitant. “Sean, are you _sure_? I know -”

“ _Please_. One of the first things I’ve learned was not to be a bitter asshole just because people _moved on and lived their lives_ while I was in. Already learned that the hard way.” Sean offers a bittersweet smile, but it seems to ease Jake’s concerns, if not leave him a bit disheartened by his tone. “I’m not gonna’ get snarky or shitty with you for it. It was… really selfish to ever get mad at or jealous of people for that.”

“Some lessons are hard-earned.” Jake sighs quietly. “I’m… sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright. Things are better now, and she forgave me. I’m not really _proud_ of it, but I did _learn_ from it.” Sean takes another bite and another drink. “And I guess that’s all I can hope for. To learn from my mistakes, and to accept them, and to do better.”

“Indeed.” Jake smiles warmly, and does the same.

“So how did your adventure in parenting go?” Sean coaxes, almost desperate to shift the subject matter at this point. “Seems like you did a pretty good job. Not that I had any doubts.”

“That makes _one_ of us.” Jake chuckles, and it’s warm and almost infectious. “But… _thank you_. It means _a lot_ to hear it from you, actually. She adjusted to life ‘outside’ of the commune a lot faster than I did. I guess it’s easier when you’re younger. I’m not too ashamed to admit I was a little jealous. Then, she had the gall to outgrow me.”

“Heh, yeah, I… kinda’ noticed.” Sean laughs, picking up on the intended humor in Jake's tone, and thinking back to the day he was released, just to find Daniel had done the same. “If it’s any consolation, even Daniel’s got about an inch on me now.”

“I find that hard to believe somehow.” Jake’s crinkles his nose a bit, trying not to smile. It was more consolation than it probably should have been. “Are... are you pulling my leg?”

“I _wish_ I was.” Sean takes his last bite and tidies up his area a bit. “I _guess_ it just means we provided well enough that they _could_.”

“That’s _one_ way of looking at it.” Jake mulls, swirling the last swig of coffee around in the bottom of his mug. “But, seriously, she’s done really well here. She made friends pretty easily in school, and she was always dedicated to doing her work. She retained a lot of the obedience they taught back home, so I guess I really lucked out in that regard.”

Sean’s eyes grow wide, and he puffs his cheeks out at the sheer thought of Daniel’s behavior in contrast. “Yeah, you aren’t kidding.”

Jake can’t help but laugh; it’s _so_ refreshing to see a more playful expression on Sean’s face after nearly three days’ time, and he can tell there’s no venom in his tone. “She was really active at school, played a couple sports, and… goodness, she took right to surfing after we sent that letter. She’s kept busy, but she’s always been a go-getter. Now she’s going to school to be a veterinarian. I’m glad she’s kept such a sunny disposition through everything, though. She turned out a lot cooler than her big brother, that’s for sure. But that’s alright.”

Sean detects just a hint of a bittersweet tone in his voice, but opts not to comment on it. He knows exactly what it’s like to sacrifice so that your younger sibling can have a better life. Instead, he smiles gently. “Bet the boys kept you busy in her high school years.”

“ _Girls, too_.” Jake laughs as Sean’s mouth slacks and his eyebrows lift a bit. “Turns out moving here might’ve also saved her from… the same bullshit I went through.”

“That’s awesome.” Sean breathes a small sigh of relief.

“Yeah, it is. I remember… she was so scared when she first slipped up and said something about it.” Jake’s tone grows softer, more thoughtful, as does his expression. “There was a middle school dance or… something like that. It’s been a while, so I can’t remember exactly. One of her male friends invited her along, and I asked her what was so wrong with that, and she… got flustered, and told me that he’s alright, but _she liked Amy more_ , and it took me a minute to realize what she meant.”

Sean takes the last swig of his drink, listening intently.

“And she kind of froze up when she saw it dawn on me. Because she remembered… young as she was back when they made me go through… _that_ … she _remembered_ , Sean, and it _scared_ her. She remembered that I came out of it _different_ , and she was _so afraid_ that there was something _wrong_ with her, and that our parents might do the same to her as they did to me.” Jake pauses to take a breath, and to calm himself. “Ah, sorry, Sean, I just get-”

“- no, no, it’s _fine_.” He waits patiently as Jake recollects himself, eager to hear more. It presents a decent window of time for the waiter to refill their coffee and take away their plates, if nothing else. Another moment lapses, and Sean watches him nurse a few sips of the fresh cup, and he offers a small smile. “Better now?”

“Much, thanks.” He adjusts his glasses and smiles again, mentally tracing back to find where he’d left off. There's still a touch of pink around his eyes and on the tip of his nose, tell-tale signs that tears had nearly been spilled, but he powers through anyway. “But, anyway, she uh… she asked me, _They punished you because you like boys, right? Are they gonna’ hurt me, too?_ And it just… God, it _broke my heart_ , Sean. Because no child should have to live with that sort of fear, but also because… it was so _obvious_ to her that it _hurt_ me. At _such a young age_. She’s _always_ been _emotionally intelligent_ but… I was _floored_.”

“That’s… _terrible_. I couldn’t even imagine.” Sean admonishes. “Had you even told her about the pneumonia ordeal yet?”

“I actually told her that right after all this went down. I told her… that’s why we ran away, so that they couldn’t hurt either of us anymore. _That they’d never be able to hurt us again_. And I’d been putting off telling her all of the… _faith healing_ bull, but it… _finally_ seemed like the right time. It really hit me, during that conversation, that she was emotionally mature enough to handle it. So that’s when I finally just… came clean about it all.”

“Did you guys ever contact them again?”

“A little while after all this happened, actually, we finally ripped that band-aid off.” Jake nods as he speaks, more to himself than to his company. “A tiny part of me hoped… _maybe_ they’d wake up at some point, but deep down I kinda’ _knew_ … most people who are as far gone as they are don’t change. We still contact them every once in a while, but it’s not really warm. More of a _courtesy_ sort of thing, to let them know we’re alive and okay. But we’ve got each other, and that’s the main thing.”

“Have you guys actually seen them again?” Sean asks, genuinely curious to know.

“Outside of court and custody hearings, only a couple of times. But I’m fine with that. And last I asked, she certainly was, too.”

“ _Damn_ … guess I can’t really blame you guys, though.” Sean trails off for a second long moment. “I know this is sorta random, but… your house… um… is it still the same place you mentioned in that last etter you sent to Mom’s place? It seems to fit the bill.”

“It _is_ , actually.” Jake beams, flattered somehow that Sean would remember, but also likely _more than ready_ for a shift in topic to something lighter. “We lucked out when we found this place, though. And we were really fortunate to have an honest, good-hearted landlord, too, because God knows I’ve heard some horror stories from other people. She was so helpful, especially in the first couple of years when we were really trying to get on our feet. She let us borrow a lot of essentials until we could afford our own, and she’d point us towards good sales once we could. She helped to provide stuff for Sarah, especially. Even if it was just stuff she found at yard sales or thrift stores, it was such a blessing. She wound up being more like a mother to us than our real one.”

Sean can’t help but smile as he takes another drink.

“We’ve met some great people here, don’t get me wrong, but she’s been _especially_ good to us. Believe it or not, she actually brought us the paperwork for the house a few Christmases back and gave it to us, on the condition that we invite her for at least one holiday or birthday every year.” Jake grins. “Her name’s Ginny.”

“She sounds great. And you guys _definitely_ deserved some sort of good luck after all that bullshit back in Haven Point.”

“Yeah, I guess so, but… goodness, _listen to me_ rambling -” suddenly, Jake’s expression falls to some vague combination of remorse and anxiety. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s… it’s _fine_.” Sean consoles. “I _asked you_ to, Jake. Not like we’ve got some sort of timer.”

“You’re not… getting sick of it?”

“What? _No_.” Sean wonders what the hell sort of question that was, or what brought it on. He furrows his brow as he beholds Jake, who seems relieved to hear it. “I’m enjoying it. Only thing is… I asked about _you_ and Sarah Lee. And so far you’ve mostly talked about your sister. Which is perfectly fine, but… I wanna’ know how _you’re_ doing _too_.”

It appears to throw Jake off-kilter for a moment, if not to _trouble_ him slightly, and Sean wonders briefly if people _ever_ really asked about him.

“ _Damn_. This… _really_ shouldn’t be so difficult for me to answer.” He finally laughs. “I mean, you probably already guessed what my priorities are. My needs always kind of took the back burner. First and foremost, I’ve just… tried to provide and be a good brother. But I… feel like you can probably understand that. Even after she turned 18, and I don’t really have to be there like I was before, I guess… old habits die hard. She just gets to return the favor now is all.”

“Glad to hear she does at least.” Sean breathes tiredly. It almost disheartens him to hear it, but he can understand exactly where Jake’s coming from. He wonders how to ask his next question without coming off wrong. “What about, um… well, after our talk in Lisbeth’s office that day, I’ve always sort of wondered… how _all that_ would pan out for you.”

“I’m… not _entirely_ sure I follow?”

 _God, please don’t think I’m being gross or making a pass at you. Please._ Sean screams internally. “Was just hoping you maybe… found it in yourself to… put yourself out there after everything.”

“Oh, you mean _that_. Heh.”

Sean is washed in relief when his meaning isn’t lost or misconstrued.

“Yeah, I guess I’m doing alright in that regard. I mean, I’ve come to terms with all of it, and accepted myself. Even been in a handful of relationships, but most of them didn’t pan out. The last one that _did_ ended… hell, _four years ago_ or so now?” Jake looks wistfully out the window for a moment. “Over the years, I kinda’ came to the realization that I’m not actually too much into the uh… _physical_ aspects. At least not like _my partners_ have been. Once in a while could be nice, but… it never seemed to be enough for them. I’ve never had much of a need or a craving for it myself. It… usually ended up being a deal-breaker.”

When he shifts his gaze back to meet Sean’s, he’s wearing an expression that very much radiates an _I Will Go Back to Prison if I Have To_ sort of vibe, and he raises his hands to wave dismissively.

“N-no, no, Sean, it’s fine. It’s alright. That’s just how this stuff goes, y’know? Besides, dating’s… _exhausting_. Not sure the risk is worth the reward, if I’m being honest. I decided after the last one that… if something comes my way and feels like a good fit, I might give it a chance, but… otherwise?” He draws a deep breath and shrugs as he releases it. There’s something incredibly _content_ about his demeanor as he does so, and it puts Sean at ease. “It’s usually more trouble than it’s worth. But more than anything… I’m just glad I can be myself. And that I know who _myself_ really is.”

Sean nods thoughtfully to himself as it all sinks in, and finishes his second cup, and looks back over at Jake, who’s working at doing the same. “Did you want to order anything else?”

“No, but thank you. We should probably be heading to the store in a few, actually - ah, if… you don’t mind helping me carry a few bags home, that is.”

“You _kidding_? I helped your sister _clean the chicken coop_ yesterday.” Sean smiled as he stood up, slipping back into his bulky coat and swiping their bill from the table. “You really think I'd mind carrying some groceries a mile or two?”

“You… you _did_? She actually _talked you into tha_ \- ah! Sean, wait a sec, I said _I’d_ pay-”

Sean waves the bill playfully back at him as he heads to cash out, and watches, more amused than he probably should be, as Jake scrambles to finish his coffee and put his coat and scarf back on. But he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a refreshing feeling. Hell, _anything_ other than _doom and gloom_ was a refreshing feeling. "You can rush all you want, but the bill's still in _my_ hand."


	5. More from the first visit and the camping trip [ Ramblings ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More post-redemption ending ramblings because I have no self control ♥

_More from the first visit:_

I imagine Sean ends up staying, like... four nights altogether. The first night, and then 3 while his car’s being repaired.

One of those nights, he hears either Jacob or Sarah get up to use the restroom. He opens his eyes when he feels someone pulling the blanket he’s under back over his legs and he smiles. He peeks to find it’s Jake. “Hope you washed your hands.” He jokes. They both chuckle for a few seconds. “Thanks, Jake.” He smiles and nods. “‘Night, Sean.”

 _Apples_. They’ve had some sort of apple dish for each day he’s been staying there. “I’m not complaining, but... what’s with all the apples?” He asks. Sarah explains that just about every time they hit the farmer’s market, one of the vendors always sends them home with a free bag. She usually makes a simple cobbler, fried apples, or homemade applesauce when she and Jake don’t just can them. They’ll often take some of the goodies for said vendor. And probably to their former landlord.

I already stated it in [this short](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21759001/chapters/52062862), but Sean helps Sarah clean their chicken coop (and gets to know a bit about their birbs in doing so). He’s a little taken aback when Sarah tells him that’s where their breakfast came from, and that yield is a lot lower in the winter, but the girls worked hard to provide that morning. When Sean finally processes it, he gives them a hearty _Good job, ladies_. Sean’s just... _generally helpful_ , at least as much as he can be, in those few days.

Jacob and Sarah show him some cooking basics while he’s there, too. Sarah graciously ~~decides she doesn’t have the patience~~ steps down and lets Jake take the driver’s seat. It’s not Sean’s strong suit, but it makes for some entertainment. Jake’s convinced with more time he’ll learn. But for the time being it’s lots of laughter. They all sit around and watch a movie while they eat, and continue to laugh and have a good time. It’s the best night Sean’s had (or _allowed_ himself to have) in a _while_. Sarah dozes off, and the two of them talk some more. This is when Jake suggests camping sometimes in a few months, when the weather or more agreeable. And sometime during the course of this evening is _probably_ when Sean has his _oh no, he’s cut_ e moment.

_Which transitions into -_

After he takes off in his own direction again, it’s only a few days before Jacob checks in on him. They mostly correspond through messaging, usually multiple times a day, but at each others’ leisure. They do video chat 2 or 3 times a month when everything lines up for both of them and when Sean’s feeling up to it. There’s no _pressure_ to it; Jake doesn’t want him to feel obligated to have _mental health_ talks all the time, either, and treats him as a friend first and foremost, and that eases Sean’s nerves considerably.

Daniel’s very pleased when Sean finally opens up to him about everything, apologizes for the way he shut him out and/or dodged the issues before, and asks if they can try to do this again. Daniel’s more than happy to oblige, and their relationship grows because of it. After not-too-long, they’re back to talking regularly. Sean having not just one, but two healthy outlets helps him _immensely_.

Daniel, since having been contacted by both Sarah and Jake so they could just casually check in and see how he’s been, messages Jacob to thank him for talking to Sean about everything and inadvertently getting the wheels in motion. They talk in a friendly manner fairly often, but also about Sean’s progress, and it’s not uncommon for Daniel to consult Jacob when he’s at a loss for how to take on certain topics with his brother. _But he’s trying_.

Lapse about three months, one night (not too far from when they’re tentatively planning their camping trip for), after Sean’s gotten quite used to Jake answering their video calls, they agree to one at ‘eight-ish or later’. Sean is a little jarred when Sarah Lee answers and greets him enthusiastically. “Hope you don’t mind. Jake’ll be here in a couple minutes. He just washed up real fast. I think he was expecting you to call a bit later.” They talk for those few minutes. Sean asks how she’s been, and then how _the ladies_ are doing. She gets a hearty laugh out of it. “You’ll have to come see them again soon!” He’s happy to humor the idea. She gets up when she hears her brother approaching and bades Sean goodbye, just as enthusiastically as she greeted him.  
Jake fills her vacancy and waves a small hello with an almost nervous half-smile, before he grabs at the towel that’s draped across his shoulders and patted at his still-damp hair. His cheeks are still a little pink from the hot water. _~~This kills the Sean~~_. “Sorry about that. Decided to try to grab a quick shower before you rang. You usually don’t call so early. Everything okay?” ~~He was just a little eager to see your adorable face, Jake. Even if he doesn’t quite realize it yet.~~

Sean feeling self-conscious _for some reason_ before he heads off towards their place for their camping trip, and giving his beard a proper trim. Too bad he can’t cut that mop of his, too. He heads towards his destination; the game plan is to stay at their place that night, and to leave for camp early the next morning.

Sarah Lee greets him when he gets there. Jake’s at work for a few more hours. She’s pleased to see the bags under his eyes aren’t nearly as noticeable as they were the last time she saw him there, and that she can see more of his face. One thing’s still bugging her, though. She lets him bring in his overnight bag and get settled in before she brings it up though. “You... want a haircut?” He’s skeptical at first. She doesn’t blame him. “Hey, I keep _my brother’s_ mop in check, don’t I?”

Jake comes through the door as she’s about halfway through shaping the top section, hardly paying attention as he shuts and locks the door behind himself. “Looks like Sean’s car outside? Did he make it alright?” He dumps the bag of groceries he had been carrying on the kitchen island and looks up to find them, both looking almost like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. He goes slack-jawed for a moment. He thought to ask if it was Sean if the tell-tale prosthetic eye and scars didn’t already give it away. Jake breaks out into a relieved, warm smile. “Told you there was still a face under all that hair.” Sarah jokes. But it’s so good to see that face again, especially looking much less haggard than it did the last time Jake had seen it in-person.

Sean grabs a shower after the surprise haircut to rid himself of all the tiny, itchy little hair pieces. He swears he hears at least one more voice join into the chatter while he’s in the bathroom. When he comes out, he finds a very familiar face - and one vaguely familiar one. “Daniel?” His voice breaks through the fog and his little brother makes haste across the room to see him. He’s surprised to see Sean’s _face_ , especially after all of their video calls, and he grabs him up into a warm hug. Sean soon finds out that the other guest is Chris - all grown up - and he feels so much older.

Meanwhile, though he’s really pleased to see all this unfold, Jake is still surprised to see Sean wasn’t lying when he said Daniel outgrew him.

They order pizza that night, and everyone watches a movie, and the house feels so lively and happy, everyone catching up and telling stories and enjoying one anothers’ company. Sean and Sarah Lee and Chris all pass one anothers’ sketchbooks around and validate each other. Sean’s impressed at both of their improvements since the last time he’d seen their works. He praises them for not giving it up.

The night winds down, and the boys retire to an air mattress Jake’s inflated for them, and Sean to his usual spot on the couch. And as usual, Jake makes his rounds to make sure everyone’s cozy enough before retiring to his own bed.

Once they get to the campgrounds, everyone pitches their tents before they set out on any other ventures. It’s a great opportunity for Jake to dust off his camera and take some nice photos. He gets a lot of nice candid shots of everyone, some nice scenic shots, and a few of the wildlife they run into. They make it through about half of the day, and are heading towards an interesting-sounding trail.

Jake’s still in the zone and scoping out nice shots, and he looks ahead at Sean and _goodness_ , what a nice shot that would make; the light is coming through the trees just-so, and good God, he’s smiling for once. A real smile. Jake can’t resist - he calls out to him to catch his attention, and he manages to snag a couple. He looks pleased with himself as he lowers his camera and they exchange looks for a moment before something shifts under him and he loses his footing - a damp pile of leaves, damn it all. His weight shifts awkwardly, and pain surges through him as he rolls his ankle.

Sean doubles back to check on him, and the kids turn to see what the commotion is all about. Jake tries to brush it off, and tough it out, but it’s apparent a hike isn’t a great idea. Sarah pulls out a first aid kit and Sean takes the ace bandage from inside and wraps Jake’s ankle, but it only helps a little. “I’ll take him back to camp so he can ice it and rest.”

“You sure? We can all go back.” Daniel offers.  
“It’s alright. You guys go have fun. If nothing else we can get a head start on cooking dinner.” Sean chuckles.

A patient, somewhat clumsy trip back to camp, with a few ledges Sean has to help Jake down with his bum ankle, not unlike he had to do with Daniel in years passed. Jake very much having a moment of _hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me_. Bonus points for a flushed, flustered Jake losing his balance once Sean helps him to the ground, and stumbling into him anyway.

Them finally getting back to camp and Sean making Jake sit and rest while he makes a cold press for him. And gently teasing him, asking, _was that shot really worth all that_. It’s about an hour before Daniel video calls him to check up. He can see all 3 kids looking concerned, and it makes him smile. He points the phone over at a dejected-looking Jake, sitting in a fold-out chair with his foot elevated and resting on the cooler, his cold press tethered to it with a familiar-looking old green handkerchief. Content he’s doing okay and is in good hands, they go on with their hike.

Sean takes the initiative to start peeling potatoes for dinner. Jake’s clearly not happy with not being able to help, so Sean brings his chair closer. “I guess you can handle potato peeling with a bad ankle. It’s _killing_ you to have someone _look after **you** _for a change, isn’t it?” He jokes. He’s not entirely wrong though.

They reminisce on their time back in Humboldt - missing their crew, and reminded of peeling potatoes with Hannah. “It’d be cool to see them all again.”

“I still talk to a couple of them, actually. I didn’t think about writing their contact info down last time you came.” Jake smiles. “Maybe next time we could invite them. Atleast get _some_ of the crew back together, y’know?”

A couple hours later, the kids stroll back into camp. There’s already a fire started and waiting, and Jake’s unfortunate slip-up allowed them to prep dinner quicker. Sarah gives her brother a bit more TLC while Sean, Daniel, and Chris start to cook. They all eat a nice dinner and the three artsy ones end up pulling out their sketchbooks at the picnic table - bouncing ideas off one another and just doodling. 

Sean’s prosthetic starts to bother him, so he goes to the tent to tend to it - he’s glad he brought his eyepatch as a backup. Jake walks in behind him, looking for his bag, and is taken aback when he sees Sean pull the piece of acrylic out of his socket. “Ohhh my goodness-” Jake quickly covers his mouth. It’s somehow more hurtful than it should be to Sean (it feels like a blow to his self esteem - especially coming from Jake), and when it shows on his face, Jake quickly backpedals. He waves his hands dismissively. “N-no, no, it... the eye doesn’t _bother_ me, Sean, that was just a bit... _jarring_ to walk into. I’m sorry.”

His words only somewhat ease Sean’s concerns.

“Is it... bothering you?” Jake asks, leaning a bit closer to get a better look.

“Yeah, I’m still getting used to it. It gets pretty itchy sometimes. And I can’t really give it a proper cleaning out here.” He puts it into what Jake assumes is a special case for it. He reaches into his bag to retrieve a couple of swabs and a bottle of cleaner, before he looks incredibly annoyed with himself. He forgot one thing. “Ah, _shit_ , I forgot a mirror. It’s not _impossible_ , but... _damn_ it...”

He supposed he could do it blind. He _can_ do it without a mirror, he just _prefers_ to have one. He could go do it in one of the car mirrors - “Do you... want some help?” Jake asks.

It catches Sean off guard, but God, does it surely ease that blow to confidence he’d just taken (which he admits was his own fault). He half-shrugs, but he nods. “Y-yeah, if you want to. It’s kinda’ gross if you’re not used to it.”

“I already told you I don’t mind.” Jake smiles. _~~This, too, kills the Sean.~~_ “Do I just soak the swab and... swipe it around in there?”

Sean talks him through cleaning his eye socket, and there’s something so comforting in having him so close and so _not-grossed-out_ by what he’d just seen, or by being the one to swab it out. Jake whines about _hoping he cleaned it well enough_ , and Sean can only laugh. _You’re the fussy big brother, I’m sure you did fine_. He takes a piece of gauze to dry up the bit of cleaning solution that had trickled its way out and he smiles back at Jake meaningfully. 

Daniel (having been able to see it all unfold because the tent entrance was unzipped and the flaps pulled back) probably yelling something about _dropping the makeout session and coming back out by the fire_ , much to both of their <///<

Coming back out and seeing all 3 kids smirking at them.

~~Jake limping around (though not as severely as he was earlier) taking more photos 😂~~

About a week later, Jake messages Sean to _Let me know when your anchor’s deployed for a bit, somewhere I can ship stuff, okay? Got some stuff I want to send to your way :)_ And him being so happy to hear he’s with Karen again for a bit. 

When Sean gets the package, it’s a nice-sized stack of photos from the camping trip that he’ll be all too exited to show Karen (and to tell her who took them all), some snack type food, and a new hardbound sketchbook, and nice-looking mechanical pencil. It makes his stomach feel warm and fuzzy.

As he tabs through the photos, he checks the back for any notes, finding some in Jake’s hardly-improved scrawl, and it brings a smile to his face. But he gets to one and he’s taken aback for a moment - it feels familiar. It’s a photo of him, and it’s a nice one. Not necessarily from a portrait sort of perspective, but the composition, and the colors, and the lighting, and, hey, it wasn’t particularly _unflattering_ on him, either. _Too bad he bit it right after he took it._ Sean chuckled, but he still felt bad for Jake that day. He flipped it over to see if there were any notes for him, and he found one that made his cheeks darken.

“This shot actually _was_ worth the twisted ankle :P”

-

And that’s all for tonight! ♥


	6. Random Sketch [ Art ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was sketching the other night just for the sake of trying to sketch and not be such a perfectionist and this happened. It's not perfect (I need to work on their face shapes) but that was sort of the point 😂 Still worth sharing tho ♥️


	7. Oops [ Art & Anon Ask that inspired it ]

**Anonymous** asked:

> your seacob posts made my day, i love them. thank you. you're awesome. do you think on one of their camping trips... like not the first ones but eventually... they will share a tent....?......... >.>

Aww, thank you so much! So happy you enjoy it 🥰

And you’d best believe it’s crossed my mind 😂 But less in a 👀💦 way and more of a cute, wholesome, and sort of awkward way, haha. For that initial instance, anyway. The quick-and-short of it being, _hey, I know this tent isn’t very big and while I’m very distressed to notice that you shuffled your way over here in your sleep and flung your limbs across my person and buried your face in my chest, and this wouldn’t be nearly so awkward if I wasn’t trying to repress my feelings for you, I also don’t have the heart to wake and/or move you because it’s the most restful sleep I’ve seen you get since we met again, so I guess ~~this is my life now~~ I’ll just awkwardly return the gesture with hair stroking and back rubbing because a tender hand would probably do you some good anyway. But o h n o , I’m actually enjoying it too._


	8. Famous Last Words [Art]

  
  
  



	9. Famous Last Words - Colored Version [Art]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ended up coloring this on my bestie's recommendation 😂

  
  



	10. Sketch [Art]




	11. Another Generic Smooch™ [Fanart]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More generic smoochy stuff, but considering my general art block this year, I'll take whatever scraps my brain throws me 😂 Jake's a bit scruffier here (sort of a throwback to how he looked when we met him in episode 3, mixed with my future!take on him); I imagine this is some time after a camping trip and Sarah Lee is giving both of them a hard time about needing hair cuts 😂♥️


End file.
